Quantum Canada, eh!
What is the first thing you think of when someone says ........ Canada!
CURLING & HOCKEY!MAPLE LEAFS! (but not necessarily Toronto)
CANUCKS! (but not necessarily Vancouver) LUMBERJACKS & MOUNTIES!
BEAVERS! BEARS! CANADA GEESE!
ICE! SNOW! IGLOOS! DOG SLEDS!
BACK BACON! MAPLE SYRUP!TIM HORTONS! PEACEKEEPERS!
WAYNE GRETZKY! THE BLUENOSE!
But definitely not ..... napkins??
Okay, so I was out for an extended bike ride on the weekend, after gardening. and was far enough away from home that I needed a little bit of protein to ramp up my metabolism. In a weak-end moment, and only due to proximity, the closest eating establishment was ... McDonalds! So, I ventured in to grab something quick. Oh yeah, forgot - NOTHING is ever quick at McDonalds! But I digest.....
But simply overwhelmed with the ambiance of the new designer 'Café' style, I felt compelled to seek closure for Emergency Sustenance Acquisition (ESA). I decided that the best bet for a combination of fast service AND protein would be their Jr. Chicken. My initial thought was that the chicken would probably argue against this. Especially the Junior part, notwithstanding the Chicken part either! Canadians are really good at using the word 'notwithstanding'!!!
But throwing caution to the wind, I purchased it, waiting the obligatory McDonalds Moment and headed to an apparently comfortably designed bench, hoping that the new Café decorators were not the same designers for their food.
Carefully unwrapping my poulet du jour, I was joined by a family to my side. Tourists, as it became quite clear, when I overheard the teenage daughter asking, 'Do Canadians have napkins?'
Instantly frozen into cultural shock, my Junior chicken only nano-metres from my taste buds, it took great effort (actually not that much!) to just.keep.the.f.quiet.
Then my Canadian genes jump-started themselves and I laughed, inwardly of course! Of course CANADIANS have napkins! And they soon found that not only do Canadian McDonalds HAVE napkins supplied at inviting designated Napkin Areas For Tourist Access (NAFTA), but they are also thoughtfully inserted into the non-edible GM carrying cases that McDonalds supplies when exchanging cash for Junior Chicken substances.
How Canadian is THAT, eh!
So, satiated by both culture and protein, I carried the debris from discarded Happy Meals (all Canadians are Environmental Green Re-Cyclists), fed my dozen Husky Dogs attached to my Rocky Mountain Bike/Sled/Ski-doo Hybrid vehicle and yelled 'MUSH' to avoid the rush hour traffic of Snowshoers, Reindeer Express bus-sleds and the Midnight Sasquatch Curfew in downtown Victoria. A quick stop to pick up some seal back bacon, maple syrup (keg size), new mukluks at Muks-Work-Wear-Gloo & Snow Cutters at Igloo Depot, I headed to the comfy confines of igloo, sweet igloo. I don't want to miss next weeks Annual Inner Harbour Freeze-Over and the Running of the Musk Ox!!!
And just for fun, here are some hilarious Canadian Videos to prove everything I just said is ... mostly true!
I.AM.CANADIAN
I.AM.CANADIAN (William Shatner)
WILLIAM SHATNER - O CANADA
And some hilarious REAL quotes
about Canada from those
most needing access to
“Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.”
Craig Ferguson
“I get to go to overseas places, like Canada.”
Britney Spears
“I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”
Jon Stewart
“Canada: A few acres of snow.”
Voltaire
“Canada is a country so square that even the female impersonators are women.”
Richard Benne
“Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”
Christopher Moore
“I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.”
George Best
“Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.”
Pierre Trudeau
Oh, yes, and the only other words
Canadians use more than 'eh' is ........
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